EL SEGUNDO HERALD July 30, 2020 Page 3
Letters Circumstances Reshape
CITY OF EL SEGUNDO
CITY COUNCIL
Volunteers Needed!
The City Council is currently accepting applications for the
following Committees, Commissions and Boards (CCB) positions.
Closing Soon
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Committee
Deadline to apply is Friday, July 31, 2020 no later than 5:00 p.m.
Immediate Openings
Arts and Culture Advisory Committee
Four positions
Capital Improvement Program Advisory Committee
Three positions
Environmental Committee
Two positions
Investment Advisory Committee
One position
Library Board of Trustees
Two positions
Planning Commission
Two positions
Recreation and Parks Commission
One position
Senior Citizen Housing Corporation Board
Two positions
Technology Committee
Seven positions
Terms Expiring Soon
Capital Improvement Program Advisory Committee
One position November 30, 2020
If you are interested in applying and would like more information,
please log onto the City’s website at www.elsegundo.org, under
Government, click the Committees, Commissions and Boards link.
Your Neighborhood Therapist
Dear Neighborhood Therapist,
My partner and I are breaking up. Over
the past two years, too much resentment
has built up. We love each other (or loved - I’m
honestly not sure about that anymore either),
but we both said some things that neither
one of us can get over, and it’s clear that we
will both be happier apart. There is a lot to
untangle. We live together and we have a lot
of shared bills and accounts. One or both of
us will move out in the next month or so - as
soon as possible. All that we seem to agree on
is that we don’t want to be together anymore,
and it feels like everything we do or say turns
into a fight. Do you have any advice for how
to handle this situation?
– Breaking Up is Hard, Playa del Rey
Dear Breaking Up is Hard,
I’m sorry that your relationship has ended.
I do think that there are some things you can
do to make your lives a little bit better during
a difficult time.
First, be kind to each other, even when you
do not want to be. For any number of reasons,
many of us secretly, or not so secretly, want
to “win” the breakup. Sometimes we want to
make sure we register every resentment and
take back every compromise we made for the
sake of the relationship. Why? Well, it feels
good at the time.
Some people think they have to “blow off
steam” or “let anger out” and use this as
an excuse for bad behavior. But what happens
if you don’t do this? What happens if
you don’t say everything you want to, even
if the other person deserves it? Heads do not
actually explode. If we can manage to choose
restraint and kindness, sometimes the intensity
actually diminishes. Rarely do we say, “I wish
I had been harder on my ex when we broke
up.” Resentment may even fade to a point
where you can both look back fondly on the
relationship someday - after all, something
brought you together in the first place.
So don’t try to win the breakup.
Second - bear with me here - sometimes
we don’t actually think the things we think
we think, but we say those things anyway.
Everyone’s mind goes to unpleasant places
sometimes - and unfortunately occasionally
we open our mouths at those times. But just
because a thought, a suspicion or an idea occurs
to us and then escapes our lips does not
mean that we actually choose to subscribe to
it when we are at our best.
That doesn’t mean anyone should get a pass
for abusive or demeaning language - but that
is a different subject from this one. Instead,
if you ask yourself, “have I always been fair
and judicious in the things I’ve said to my
partner?” and the answer is no (hint: that’s most
of us), then perhaps even after a breakup it is
never too late to start asking yourself, “how
would I react if I were at my best? How can
I behave at this moment in a way that I will
be proud of years from now?” You may not
have control of your partner’s behavior, but
you’ll walk away with your head held high.
Tom Andre is a Licensed Marriage
& Family Therapist (LMFT119254). Please
write to tom@tomandrecounseling.com
or text to 310.776.5299 with questions
about handling what is affecting your life,
your family, the community or the world.
The information in this column is for
educational purposes only and nothing
herein should be construed as professional
advice or the formation of a therapeutic
relationship. •
Short-Term Rentals
Three things regarding your article on “Short-
Term Rentals” July 23, 2020, I question. The
article states “hosts must occupy a home,
duplex or condominium” and elsewhere states
“the owner must live on the premises”, two
descriptions of occupancy. The description of
occupancy “owner must live on the premises”
could mean living in a garage and renting
out the house as stated at a council meeting
and “hosts must occupy a home, duplex or
condominium” should in all manner of clarity
stipulate hosts must occupy the same house,
duplex or condominium they are renting, not
a home, duplex or condominium they are
renting, emphasis on same. Second question,
all places that have nightly rentals such as
hotels, motels, inns, etc. provide parking. The
article does not mention where these renters
are to park their cars; and how conscientiously
will these out-of-towners be in moving their
cars on street sweeping day. Thirdly, I do
not appreciate an influx of strangers in my
neighborhood as we neighbors watch out for
one another. An influx of strangers puts a kink
in the city’s Neighborhood Watch programs.
– Liz Garnholz
El Segundo Steps Up
On behalf of our ‘El Segundo Families in
Need’ and volunteers at C.A.S.E., we would
like to say, “Thank you to this amazing
community.” The support we have received
since the COVID-19 pandemic began and
support we are still receiving from this community
has been more than we could have
envisioned. From the generous financial
donations, to the offers of hands-on assistance
in the pantry, to the weekly donations
of non-perishables, hygiene and cleaning
products stocking our pantry shelves, to the
donations of fresh fruits and vegetables from
your gardens, to the gasoline gift cards for
each client, we must say C.A.S.E. has been
generously cared for during this time. Our
clients and/or families are so appreciative
of all we have been able to offer on pantry
days over these past several months and it
is mainly due to this community coming
together to support ‘El Segundo Families
in Need’. From individuals, to families, to
corporations and organizations, to churches
and small business, you have all stepped
up to assist our C.A.S.E. families and we
sincerely appreciate the love and support
that has been shown to our organization
and those families we assist. Without this
generous and continuing support we would
be able to offer the same level of assistance
to our families.
– Thank you so much, C.A.S.E.
volunteers and our C.A.S.E. families •
the Council’s Priorities
By Rob McCarthy
Uncertainty about when the local economy
and schools will reopen looms large as El
Segundo city leaders start setting their priorities
for the next year. The City Council began
the process last week as it prepares to deal
with the fallout from the ongoing COVID-19
health emergency.
Social-distancing requirements are keeping
friends, neighbors and families apart. Youth
sports are on hiatus, and school campuses will
remain closed when the fall semester begins
in three weeks. Councilman Scot Nicol said
he’s concerned residents are starting to feel
disconnected after five months of restricted
activities.
He proposed a new initiative for 2020-
21 to restore a sense of community and
togetherness in El Segundo. Nicol doesn’t
want to wait until the pandemic ends. He’s
concerned about the long-term effects of
months of home isolation, without public
events or everyday routines. Life hasn’t been
the same since mid-March, and that was
before protests and demonstrations began
over race and policing issues.
“I was thinking how different life is now,
and how different it is going to be coming
out of this,” Nichol said, during the goalsetting
session. “And I think there should be
something in our priorities for the coming
year to bring our community back together.”
The council members considered whether
to keep, change or add to the five core
goals set two years ago. A new goal made
at the top of this year’s list is diversity and
inclusion. In addition to strategic-plan goals,
the council sets priorities for the city manager
and department heads. According to the city
manager, 63 activities tasked last year to
city departments, 41 were completed, and
19 are ongoing.
Nicol said the COVID-19 shutdown caused
him to wonder what will El Segundo be like
when the community finally can reopen. What
lasting effects will be there after the period of
isolation without celebrations and community
events like the Fourth of July fireworks and
homecoming at the high school?
Councilwoman Carol Pirsztuk also
mentioned the growing division between
groups in El Segundo over race and policing
issues. The school district’s two learning
options proposed for 2020-21 could be a wedge
issue between families over whether it’s safe
to send children back to school. Though no
votes were taken, she sounded favorable to
Nicol’s suggestion that community-building
be a new priority in the next fiscal year.
Once schools are cleared to reopen and allow
students back on campus, El Segundo schools
will offer two days of in-class instruction and
three days of distance learning. Or students can
take all of their classes online, district leaders
decided right before Gov. Gavin Newsom’s
latest orders that closed restaurants, salons
and gyms again because of the sudden spike
in COVID-19 cases state- and countywide.
Council members and City Manager Scott
Mitnick placed diversity, equity and inclusion at
the top of the five-item list, known as strategic
plan goals. El Segundo city government uses
the list to guide decisions and to measure
annual performance. Diversity and inclusion
will move into the No. 1 spot, along with
enhancing customer service, engaging and
communicating with stakeholders.
Before the July 22 goal-review session, the
council approved creating a citizen advisory
committee on diversity and inclusion, which
could begin work sometime in September.
See Council’s Priorities, page 8
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