EL SEGUNDO HERALD June 4, 2020 Page 3
Your Neighborhood Therapist
Dear Neighborhood Therapist,
How do I talk to my kids about the difficult
news they see on TV?
– A Loving Parent, El Segundo
Dear Loving Parent,
I want my son to spend summers swinging
from a rope into a lake and biking around the
neighborhood with his friends. I want him to
have weekends full of sports and picnics and
playdates. I want our evenings to include family
time of conversation and laughter as we sit
around the dinner table.
Of course I want to hand him all the tools
he needs in order to reach his full potential.
I want him to feel confident and secure in
his interactions. I want him to make the right
kinds of mistakes - like breaking an arm falling
out of a tree that was just a little bit too
tall for his admirable ambitions - where he
learns a lesson and has a good story, but no
permanent damage.
We all have our visions of what a perfect
childhood looks like, and it is almost always
a romanticized golden age unblemished by the
outside world. It’s also not the way the world
works, and we all know it. Both traditional
psychology and Disney endings have popularized
the idea we will inevitably mess up our
children if we give them anything less than
a perfect childhood. That’s false. Plenty of
people with traditionally imperfect childhoods
end up with deeply satisfying lives. Plenty of
people with “perfect” childhoods run into big
problems later on.
The excellent World War II museum in Gdansk,
Poland does an excellent job of illustrating
the horrors of war to children. In the children’s
section, visitors pass three times through the
same family dining and living room: the first
time is at the beginning of the war, where food
is plentiful, the newspapers are delivered and tell
the truth, and life looks “normal.” The second
time, the room is the same, but the small luxuries
are missing or replaced with something
simpler. In the final version of the room, towards
the end of the war, one of the walls has been
destroyed and the room is stripped nearly bare.
The message - war is terrible - is clear, but
the children have been spared the gory details
that adults so often seek out (if you don’t believe
me just ask Stephen King or Wes Craven).
You do not have to share the worst of
everything with children. Instead, try talking
about the effects of the bad things - especially
if other kids are affected - and invite your
child to reflect on how her own experience
may be similar or different. Then - and here
is the most important part - ask her opinion
about those effects. If she is old enough to
think about right and wrong, then she is old
enough to tell you what she thinks. Is it fair or
unfair that some kids have more than others,
and why? Is it good or bad that some parents
work longer hours than others? And so on.
You may find that instead of tiptoeing around
what to say and what not to say, you end up
having a rich conversation about what your
child values in this world.
Please write to tom@tomandrecounseling.
com or text to 310.776.5299 with questions
about handling what is affecting your life,
your family, the community or the world.
Tom Andre is a Licensed Marriage & Family
Therapist (LMFT119254). The information
in this column is for educational purposes
only and nothing herein should be construed
as professional advice or the formation of a
therapeutic relationship. •
School Spotlight
Lauren Davis Looking
Forward to Her Future
By Gregg McMullin
For several weeks, I’ve introduced our community
to some interesting, intelligent, and
well-grounded seniors of the class of 2020.
Lauren Davis is one of those individuals who
once you meet her, you can’t get enough of
her time. You get the feeling that one day
she could lead a Fortune 500 company with
her leadership skills and articulate outlook.
Lauren says she is dealing with her senior
year by not dwelling on what was missed.
“Every student dreams of their senior year
of high school, from the first-day-of-school
with our friends to the final culmination of
the past thirteen years as we walk, in cap
and gown to claim our newfound membership
into the rest of the world.” She says
she was looking forward to her senior prom
and graduation ceremony but believes that
this absence cannot break true friendships of
physicality. “We are instead strengthened by
the challenges it poses.”
School has been important to Lauren. She
has been active in her class, the school, and
the extracurricular activities. “I will miss my
friends terribly, from our daily conversations
at lunch to the fun we had in class.”
With an exceptional 4.38 GPA, Lauren
enjoys all of her classes, but her favorite
class is Choir, though she readily admits
to not being a singer. Course teacher, Mrs.
Summers, allowed her to perform as the accompanist
for the past two years. “Being a
pianist, I quickly realized that even though
there were so many voices, there was just one
piano.” She added, “It wasn’t the numbers
that mattered but rather the feeling conveyed
through every instrument in the room.”
Lauren will be attending the University of
Pennsylvania in the fall, pursuing a major in
Fine Arts and a minor in Creative Writing.
Her athleticism helped in the decision of
her college with her running attributes and
successes. Lauren intends on running on
the track team for the Quakers in a highly
competitive Ivy League.
She says her father introduced her to track
at a young age that can be traced back to
second grade running on the blacktop. Years
later, she and her older brother would train
for track under the guidance of her father.
She was hooked and became more serious
and dedicated as she got to high school.
She is the school record holder in the 100-
yard dash, the 200m, and part of the 4x400m
school record group from 2019. She is in the
top three for all sprint/hurdle categories and
was a top ten finisher at the California Winter
Championships. Though her season was cut
short, her track coach Marcos Bolanos says
she was primed to break all sprints records.
She will leave ESHS as one of the most
decorated and significant athletes in school
history. She helped the Eagles secure their
first girl’s league title in 2019.
With all the successes and meets she’s
run in, she says her favorite meet was the
Ocean League Finals of 2019. It was the last
time she and her entire team ran together. It
marked the triumphant success of the girls’
varsity team. “Even though I was tired from
running the 4x400m relay, there was nothing
that could have dampened my spirits after
rejoicing with my teammates and coaches
on the field. The trophy in Coach B’s hand,
representing the hard work and dedication of
all of us, was a highlight of my four years
in high school.”
As to Lauren’s immediate goals, she aims
to solidify her passions, extending her knowledge
and craftsmanship in both writing and
art in preparation for the years ahead. “I do
not plan to limit myself to these endeavors
but rather explore the various other interests
I possess as well, including archaeology,
See Lauren Davis, page 4
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Notice of Availability
Draft Environmental Assessment for
Proposed Space and Missile Park
Los Angeles Air Force Base
The 61st Air Base Group announces the availability of a Draft Environmental
Assessment (EA) for the proposed Space and Missile Park at Los Angeles Air Force
Base. Implementation of the Proposed Action would include the development of a
park functioning as an educational development and ensuring the preservation of
important representative artifacts documenting the Space and Missile Systems
Center’s history. The proposed park would also serve as a gathering place for SMC
personnel and visitors to enjoy the outdoors, improving morale and welfare at the
base. While several details such as a complete inventory and orientation of static
displays are still under development, the conceptual designs for the proposed park
call for up to six artifacts displayed in either vertical or horizontal alignment. Each
static display – including required concrete foundations – would be engineered
individually based on the specific artifact to be installed. Each of the static displays
would feature informational plaques and educational signage. There would be
two formal entrances to the park – one of which would be compliant with the
Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) – and there would be several seating
areas, with shade trees intended to provide inviting areas for congregation.
Pursuant to the Council on Environmental Quality (CEQ) regulations and in accordance
with the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA), this draft EA serves as a concise
public document that provides evidence and analysis for determining whether a
Finding of No Significant Impact (FONSI) is appropriate or an Environmental Impact
Statement (EIS) should be prepared. The draft EA presents the purpose and need
for the action, the proposed action and alternatives, a description of the affected
environment, and an analysis of environmental consequences. It also documents
cumulative impacts from projects which are proposed, under construction, recently
completed, or anticipated to be implemented in the near future. No significant
environmental impacts have been identified in the raft EA.
The public is invited to review and make comments on the draft EA, which is available
at the online at www.losangeles.af.mil. Comments must be received no later than
June 30, 2020. The public may submit written comments to the address below:
Mr. Joshua Jones, 61 CELS Environmental
482 N Aviation Blvd.
El Segundo, CA 90245
Email: 61cels.environmental@us.af.mil
Lauren Davis, who broke several school records in track, will be attending the University of Pennsylvania in the fall and run for the Quakers.