EL SEGUNDO HERALD April 30, 2020 Page 3
Your Neighborhood Therapist
Dear Neighborhood Therapist,
I have been in a horrible divorce and custody
battle. We share custody of our elementary
school children. I am an immigrant with a
full time job that barely pays the bills for
my small apartment. My ex-husband and his
family have unlimited resources, and I am
convinced he will try to keep me in court
to bankrupt me and “prove” I am an unfit
mother so that he can get full custody of the
children and limit my access to them. He tells
the children I am unworthy of respect, and
he has threatened me and also lied in court.
This has been incredibly hard on the kids,
and they are starting to act out and don’t
know what to believe. At the same time,
I feel like I am walking on eggshells with
my own kids, like I cannot even give them
a timeout, because it might be used against
me and lied about to take them away. How
can I possibly teach my children about right
and wrong if I can never say no to them
about anything?
– Trying to Hang in There, Manhattan Beach
Dear Trying to Hang in There,
I’m very sorry to hear what you are going
through. Your ex-husband has put you in a
terrible position. He has whipped up a storm
of pain and chaos, and either does not notice
or does not care about the effects it has on
his own children. Despite your best efforts,
he has been able to insert his presence into
your home even though he is not there.
Worse, he is punching down: you are an
immigrant in a country where women earn
less than men - a double disadvantage - your
ex-husband is trying to ruin you, and yet you
know that society will certainly lay the blame
at your feet if your children have problems.
This is yet another burden to bear.
While you have little room to maneuver
in the short term, you do have two things on
your side: community and time. First, community.
No matter what the circumstances,
we do not live in a bubble, and raising these
children is not your job alone. As they get
older, teachers, friends, family, therapists
and others will affect your children as much
as you on anyone else will. Are you able to
spend time with friends and family who share
your values? Your kids will pick up on these
values, and they will see how others treat you
as the kind and loving person that you are. It
will leave a mark.
The second thing you have on your side
is time. Your story is part of a long and vile
tradition of mothers paying huge, unfair prices
for their husbands’ wrongdoing. If you continue
to be kind and loving, your kids will notice.
They will see you at your best. It will sink in.
See you next week.
If you need help, or have the ability to help
others, please reach out and I will coordinate.
If you or someone you know needs to talk
to someone, please reach out and I will take
as many people as I can during this crisis,
regardless of ability to pay.
Please write to tom@tomandrecounseling.
com or text to 310.776.5299 with questions
about handling what is affecting your life,
your family, the community or the world. Tom
Andre is an Associate Marriage & Family
Therapist (AMFT96089) supervised by Chris
Thomas (MFT78020). The information in
this column is for educational purposes only
and nothing herein should be construed as
professional advice or the formation of a
therapeutic relationship. •
Police Reports
Monday, April 20th
One male adult was cited and released
at 0951 hours from the 100 block of South
Pacific Coast Highway for misdemeanor
vandalism.
Misdemeanor hit and report was taken
at 1204 hours from the 800 block of
Parkview Drive North, vehicle versus parked
vehicle.
A burglary (auto) report was taken at 1539
hours from the 600 block of Lomita Street.
Unknown suspect(s) broke into the victim’s
vehicle and stole her property.
One male adult was arrested at 2355 hours
from the 2100 block of East El Segundo
Boulevard for Identity theft.
Tuesday, April 21st
One male adult was arrested at 1010 hours
from the 200 block of Vista Del Mar for not
obeying the Covid 19 Safer at Home stay
home order.
A criminal threats report was taken at 1104
hours from the 2300 block of East Imperial
Highway. The suspect threatened the victim.
An identity theft report was taken at 1212
hours from the 300 block of Main Street.
A vehicle was reported stolen at 1234 hours
from the 500 block of Sheldon Street. Taken
was a 1994 Ford F-150.
A dead body report was taken at 1237
hours from the 1900 block of East Mariposa
Avenue. A male adult was found deceased.
A petty theft report was taken online at
1453 hours from the 700 block of Loma
Vista Street. Unknown suspect(s) took a
pair of shoes from the victim’s front porch.
An identity theft report was taken at 1456
hours from the 800 block of South Pacific
Coast Highway.
Unknown suspect(s) made fraudulent
charges with the victim’s credit card.
A grand theft report was taken at 2108
hours from the 400 block of Main Street.
Unknown suspect(s) stole the victim’s catalytic
converter from his vehicle.
An annoying phone calls report was taken
at 2140 hours from the 600 block of East
Holly Avenue.
A burglary (commercial) report was
School Spotlight
The Future is Bright
for Madison Kellum
By Gregg McMullin
Each year high schools across the nation
celebrate their seniors graduating. At the graduation
ceremonies, speeches by the Valedictorian
give us hope that our future is in good hands.
When you meet El Segundo high school senior
Madison Kellum for the first time and listen to
what she has to say, you instantly recognize a
bright future for all of us.
A good student might take one or two AP
classes and weather through the intimidation
of challenging courses. Madison’s schedule is
a bit more daunting when you consider she’s
taking AP Literature, AP Calculus, AP Statistics,
AP U.S. History and AP Psychology. On top
of that, her 4.5 GPA is a testament to her brilliant
classroom success. To stay current for her
classroom studies, she participates in weekly
Zoom calls for Spanish, English, and ASB!
She has been studying for her AP Calculus,
AP Literature, and AP statistics exams. Her
teachers have been very accessible via email
and video chat. But if you ask her, she’d rather
be in a classroom setting.
Madison says she loves all of her classes
but has a clear favorite. “My favorite class
this year is AP Literature. I love having long
conversations with Ms. Gerber and discussing
how the literature relates to the current political
climate as well as analyzing the works from
a historical context.”
Madison’s success in the classroom is just
part of her story. Besides being an excellent
student, a friend to all, she is a community
volunteer and a fundraiser.” I’ve helped our
YMCA do lots of fundraising. Last year, our
team of teenagers raised $10,000 through planning
a dance, having call nights, and service
projects such as a car wash.” She has worked
as an intern for Los Angeles City Councilman,
Mike Bonin. “I answered phone calls and helped
solve constituent issues such as potholes, tree
trimming, and illegal dumping.”
Madison is very involved in the ASB at
school and has served as class treasurer each
year and ASB treasurer her senior year. She,
along with Ella Tichy and Amanda Thoman,
planned the football snack bar, as well as the
prom and homecoming last year. Madison
lives in Westchester and is highly involved in a
program called Youth and Government through
the YMCA. She has served as treasurer last
year and president this year. They have weekly
meetings and have attended conferences, two
in Fresno and one in Sacramento in the past.
At these conferences, they write bills, model
court cases, elect officials, and model the
government. “We plan service events such as
beach cleanup and a Halloween event called
‘Spooktacular’ for our YMCA!”
With Madison’s incredible academic scores
and her community involvement, she was
recently notified that she had been nominated
and inclusion in the U.S. Presidential Scholars
Program. The U.S. Presidential Scholars
Program was established in 1964 during the
Lyndon B Johnson’s presidential term. It is in
recognition and to honor some of our nation’s
high school graduating seniors for their accomplishments
in the classroom, academic success,
leadership, and service to school and community.
Madison was nominated along with 5600 other
candidates from across the nation. A distinguished
panel of educators reviewed the submissions
and selected 621 semi-finalists. And drum roll
please, Madison has been notified that she is one
of those 621 special seniors. The Commission
of Presidential Scholars, a group of 32 eminent
citizens appointed by the President, will select
the finalist and announced in May.
The nomination for the U.S. Presidential
Scholars Program is very secretive. Those
nominated don’t know who chose them.
Madison has her thoughts and believes State
Superintendent Tony Thurmond nominated her.
“They tell us that the selection is based on
SAT scores and activities/community service.”
According to Madison, she received a letter in
the mail telling her she had been nominated.
Dr. Gooden was notified too and offered to
assist her if she needed any help with the
subsequent application. “They are reviewing
our final applications now and I’ll find out
in a few weeks if I’m selected as one of approximately
120 scholars selected.”
Madison is currently deciding where she’ll
be attending college. She is interested in staying
close to home and attending either USC
or UCLA. “I’m currently deciding between
UCLA and USC. I was offered a presidential
half-tuition scholarship at USC, but it’s still
more expensive than UCLA, so we’ll see! At
USC, my major is called philosophy, politics,
and economics, and my major at UCLA would
be political science.”
These days Madison is staying active at home
by going on walks with her new Labradoodle
puppy named Beau. She’s also going to UCLA
and USC with her dad to walk around the
campuses to help decide where she’ll attend
college. Her family is close and they have
been playing plenty of games such as Scrabble
and Yahtzee.
Madison’s immediate goal is hoping colleges
will reopen in the fall and get a job on campus.
She is also interested in studying abroad
in Israel, Greece, or London. Her long-range
goal and possibly a pathway to her future is
to go to law school. “Hopefully, I’ll work
as a civil rights attorney or something on an
international scale. However, I’m also really
interested in journalism.”
Madison is interested in political journalism,
such as covering state, national and international
politics and policymaking. USC has a
program called Master of Public Diplomacy,
where Madison would get to study how governments
across the world use the media to
spread their messaging. “Both print and TV
interest me because I love both writing and
public speaking,” said Madison.
One day we might turn on the television
tuned into a press conference at the White
House. Sitting in the front row in press row,
asking insightful questions, will be none other
than Madison Kellum. •
ESUSD
Madison Kellum has been selected as a semi-finalist for the U.S.
Presidential Scholars Program.
“Hope:Belief in a bright future.”
– Lailah Gifty Akita
See Police Reports, page 4
Experienced Construction Trial Attorney
Helping homeowners get projects completed.
Helping contractors get paid.
Ryan@Baldino.Law (310) 300-1511
Burkley Brandlin
Swatik & Keesey LLP
AT T O R N E Y S AT L AW
Lifetime El Segundo Residents
Living Trusts/Wills, Probate, Employment Law, Personal Injury
Trust and Estates Litigation, Business Litigation, Civil Litigation
310-540-6000
*AV Rated (Highest) Martindale - Hubbell / **Certified Specialist Estate Planning, Trust & Probate Law, State Bar of California, Board of Legal Specialization