EL SEGUNDO HERALD January 30, 2020 Page 3
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Your Neighborhood
Therapist
Dear Neighborhood Therapist: My partner
is only speaking in rhyme and it is upsetting
my parents. My friend is obsessed with taxidermy
and it is embarrassing me. My child
wears a three-piece suit to middle school
and is getting bullied. What should I do? Is
this normal?
– J. Q. Public, El Segundo
Is this normal? It is a simple and common
question that usually comes from one of two
places. The first is a concern that our own
behavior or that of a loved one will invite
mistreatment, bullying, or worse. The second
is a desire to win an argument: we want our
own position to be the “normal” one, as if
normality equals morality and worthiness.
I hope you see it as good news that even if
I had some authority on what “normal” is, I
don’t think devotion to normality will solve
much, and I would never suggest pursuing
it for its own sake.
While being “normal” can certainly make
life easier, I’m not convinced that it’s something
we should aspire to. When we consider
that smoking on airplanes, not wearing seatbelts,
corporal punishment, bloodletting,
perms, and popped collars were at one point
considered “normal” by many people, it’s
a safe bet that future generations will look
back on us today and shake their heads at
much of how we live our lives.
We reserve some of our worst treatment for
young people when it comes to “normality.”
Our institutions are set up to funnel them into
silos of “acceptable” attire, interests, body
type, activities, and ways of thinking. Some
Gone Vegan: Millennials
and Gen Z Got it Right!
By Elaine Keller, El Segundo Resident
“Millennials and Gen Z got it right,” said
no older person ever. But, after going vegan
like a Millennial for three months, I can admit
it, they’re right. Their generation deserves
credit for leading the push to change their
lifestyles for more sustainable ones. Whereas
health was my motivation to try vegan, they
are conscience of agriculture’s impact on
the planet.
In making this lifestyle change, I sampled
my first jackfruit-barbecue-type meal; purchased
pounds of cashews and nutritional
yeast to make vegan cheese; tried multiple
recipes that incorporate quinoa, and even ran
the Tofurky 5K at Griffith Park. The biggest
surprise has been the number of young adults
who already embrace a vegetarian or vegan
lifestyle.
My unscientific poll of my neighborhood
estimates one in four college students or
recent college graduates have a plant-based
lifestyle.
A more scientific poll by gobranded.com
indicates upwards of 30 percent of Millennials/
Gen Z follow a plant-based diet at least some
of the time. This compared to approximately
3.2 percent of Americans who are vegetarian
and .05 percent who are vegan.
Olivia (Liv) Garipay, 19, my El Segundo
neighbor, and a student at UC-Santa Cruz
has been vegetarian since she was eight
years old. Liv explains, “I originally became
a vegetarian because of moral reasons. But,
now that I am more informed, I am glad that
it is a smarter option for the planet.”
Liv estimates that one in three of her
classmates in Santa Cruz follow either a vegetarian
or vegan diet. “Plant-based diets are
fairly common in Santa Cruz,” she explained.
“Stopping climate change is very important
to me and those around me.”
As a point of reference: meat-eaters are
responsible for almost twice as many dietary
greenhouse-gas emissions per day as
vegetarians and about two and a half times
as many as vegans.
At an El Segundo neighborhood holiday
party where I was proud to bring a vegan
mac n cheese dish for a young vegan guest
(and myself), I asked that young vegan guest,
Dylan Leach, 21, from El Segundo and a
student at Loyola University Chicago why
she was vegan. With no hesitation, she said,
“the environment.” She also said my mac n
cheese was better than her dad’s version.
Maddie Laver, 24, whose parents live in
Manhattan Beach, shared with me that she
has been vegan for five years. She learned
about animal agriculture’s impact on climate
change in college. “Stopping climate change
is the main reason I have stayed vegan for
this long.”
By going vegan, one person can save approximately
219,000 gallons of water a year.
My motivation to drop meat and dairy was
health driven. I noticed consistent directives
for preventative medicine: avoid foods that
promote inflammation like dairy, meat, alcohol
and processed foods. Instead, the best foods
to eat are fresh, organic vegetables.
My health has improved. I am now doing
my part to fight climate change, and I have
been truly humbled by our younger generation’s
initiative to save the planet.
Liv and Maddie offer great advice. Liv
shared, “It’s important for vegetarians and
vegans not to judge others who eat meat
or fish, but if I’m asked about my choice, I
definitely use it as an opportunity to inform
them on the issue.” Maddie adds, “some
people find that if they want to ‘go vegan’,
they have to change everything about their
life. You can still eat meat sometimes, and
buy leather shoes, and enjoy what you want
to enjoy. But just by being more conscious
and aware of the impact your choice of food
and products has on your environment…that
goes a lot farther than labeling yourself as
a vegan.” •
argue this helps immunize them to a harsh
world that will judge them and sanction them.
“You will be bullied if you don’t conform”
is a powerful, effective message. It’s also
easier than saying, “I will stand with you.”
Perhaps a better question than Is this
normal? would be, Is this a problem? Assess
whether it is harmful, including whether or
not it is worth the social pushback. If it is
a serious problem, then by all means work
to make a change.
But perhaps your loved one will say, “I
really love unicycling down Main Street
wearing a polka-dotted tophat on Sunday
afternoons. I know people will make fun of
me, but I can take it.”
So, what should you do? As usual, I have
questions. If it’s not harmful, and if it is worth
the social pushback, then can you stand with
them and support them? If you cannot do it,
can you help them find people who are able
to? Can we all look in the mirror and decide
whether or not we want to be enforcers of
normality or the enablers of diversity and,
just maybe, a work of genius or two?
See you next week. Send questions!
Tom Andre is an Associate Marriage &
Family Therapist (AMFT96089) supervised by
Chris Thomas (MFT78020). The information
in this column is for educational purposes
only and nothing herein should be construed
as professional advice or the formation of
a therapeutic relationship. Please write to
tom@tomandrecounseling.com or text to
310.776.5299 with questions about handling
what is affecting your life, your family, the
community or the world. •
Sports Shorts
“The love for all living creatures is
the most noble attribute of man.”
– Charles Darwin
Boys Varsity Soccer Advance
Boys Varsity soccer advanced to 4-1 in
League with a 5-2 Victory over Samo High
on Wednesday .The score was 4-1 at halftime
with two goals by senior Luka Pilic,
one goal by Thomas Clarke and one from
Duke Durand. Assists from Denis Vezina
, Luka Pilic and Alejandro Martinez. The
second half goal was scored by Thomas
Clarke with assist from sophomore Josh
Lopez. Senior Goalie Nathaniel Abroms
had eight saves on the day.
Boys JV soccer tied 1-1 with a goal
by Vinny Costa, and a solid performance
from goalie Matthew Finders.
Girls Varsity Soccer lost to Samo 1-2,
which brought them to 2-3 in league.
Their goal was scored by senior Chloe
Brown and assisted by Chelsie Charles.
– Provided by Alissa Lund • Goalie Nathaniel Abroms
Senior Luka Pilic had two goals and an assist