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Page 2 January 14, 2021
Shattered By Loss, Pieces of a Woman
is a Devastating Portrayal of Grief
By Morgan Rojas for Cinemacy
Between the emotional rollercoaster of a
nearly 30-minute-long opening scene–shot
in one take–and Vanessa Kirby’s gutting performance,
Pieces of a Woman (now available
to watch on Netflix) is mesmerizing cinema
through and through. Award-winning Hungarian
director Kornél Mundruczó presents a skillfully
crafted observation of a woman regaining
control of her life after a traumatic loss.
Before diving in, I feel the need to note
that this film and its portrayal of an infant’s
death might be triggering for some audiences.
Expectant young couple Martha (Vanessa
Kirby) and Sean (Shia LaBeouf) anticipate
their daughter’s arrival; looking at minivans,
decorating the nursery, and preparing for a home
birth with their mid-wife Eva (Molly Parker)
are just some of the tasks left to accomplish
before welcoming their baby girl. Never would
they anticipate that once the delivery begins,
things would go drastically off-course.
Blame is immediately placed on the midwife,
despite no evidence of her wrongdoing.
Instead of picking out car seats, Martha is
picking out headstones. As humans, we often
try to find (or create) answers to justify why
bad things happen to good people. It’s easier
to comprehend bad news if we feel like there
is a reason for it, otherwise, we flounder in
uncertainty.
Pieces of a Woman carries on from this
devastating event to show the trauma that
Martha and Sean are left with, trauma that
extends to include Martha’s mother Elizabeth
(Ellen Burstyn). One scene-stealing monologue,
where Elizabeth chokes back tears of anger
and remorse, is the definition of heartbreaking.
Written by Kata Wéber and executive
produced by Martin Scorsese, Pieces of a
Woman is a performance-driven tour de force
of a film. The result is a raw glimpse at the
physical and psychological after-effects of a
loss that is rarely portrayed onscreen. Here,
Mundruczó shows there is no right way to
grieve, and Vanessa Kirby’s embodiment of
a shattered woman trying to put the pieces
together is powerful.
While Pieces of a Woman offers a shocking,
yet captivating look at human condition
when suffering tragedy, its power is definitely
in its 24-minute, uninterrupted opening
scene. The choreography is both fluid and
chaotic, and I held my breath in anticipation
of what was to come. Kirby and Parker’s
dynamic-relationship in this scene is the
epitome of feminine strength and is by far the
most unforgettable scene in the whole film.
It can be gritty and hard and unfair, but life
can beat you down if you let it. Pieces of a
Woman shows that resilience is the only way
forward, and that while it may feel impossible,
there is always hope on the other side. •
Pieces of a Woman, courtesy of Netflix.
Morgan Rojas
Your Neighborhood Therapist
Dear Neighborhood Therapist,
It has been a hard several months, but
my family and I seem to be ok. My partner
and I have both been healthy, as have our
extended families. We are employed working
from home, and our kids have handled
school on Zoom and the loss of activities
as well as we could possibly hope. We have
seen other families and friends having a very
hard time. Overall, we are very fortunate.
Not much has changed, but lately I’ve been
feeling my mood swinging more than ever. I
feel like my temper is on a hair trigger and
I get angry when the smallest thing goes
wrong, way out of proportion to what the
actual problem is. It feels like it’s getting
worse. What is behind this? Is there anything
I can do to make it stop?
- Afraid I’m Losing Control, El Segundo
Dear Afraid I’m Losing Control,
It is possible to be happy with the direction
of your life, your circumstances, and your
loved ones, but also feel terrible. Any time
when we are limited in what we can do, who
we interact with, and where we can go, life
feels smaller. When life feels smaller, setbacks
and frustrations seem bigger. People in what
might be considered “objectively good” situations
can feel terrible and hopeless.
If life were a movie, our perspective
would be like that of a single camera shot.
Sometimes this shot is tightly focused on
problems. We cannot remove ourselves from
the lived experience of where we are right
here and right now. We don’t automatically
have access to the wide-angle perspective,
where we can see that everything is ok.
It’s impossible to say what exactly is causing
temper to get stronger, but the circumstances
we’re living in are certainly a reasonable
explanation.
So, what to do about it? If things are as
you say they are - mostly ok - then I suspect
that having a magical button to slow
time down, or maybe reverse it just a few
seconds, might help you catch temper before
it surprises you and causes you to behave in
ways you’d rather not.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any contacts
with magical button time travel companies,
so I would suggest the next-best thing: taking
note of the immediate situation when it
happens, and then doing your best to notice
when similar situations come up. Write down
what was happening, how you reacted, and
how you would have liked to react if you
had been at your best.
You may start to notice that you are able
to see the signs before temper flares. When
you notice the signs, are there actions you
can take that would help keep temper away?
Could one way to handle it be as simple as
stepping away, to the extent that you can?
While psychologists and preachers of
mindfulness urge us to work so hard to be
in the moment, sometimes the best thing to
do is to step away. It’s ironic, isn’t it?
Please write to tom@tomandrecounseling.
com or text to 310.776.5299 with questions
about handling what is affecting your life,
your family, the community or the world.
Tom Andre is a Licensed Marriage & Family
Therapist (LMFT119254). The information
in this column is for educational purposes
only and nothing herein should be construed
as professional advice or the formation of a
therapeutic relationship. •
See Seniors, page 4
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Seniors
Tips To Bring Joy To Seniors All Year Long
(BPT) - Many seniors and their loved ones
are taking special precautions to stay healthy,
including limiting or eliminating visits and
other activities that can cause COVID-19
to spread. That’s because the older you are,
the higher your risk of severe illness from
the coronavirus, according to the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention.
While these important steps help keep
seniors physically healthy, they can have a
negative impact on mental well-being. Many
elderly people already felt isolation before
COVID-19 limitations. Now that many
activities and interactions they previously
enjoyed are no longer an option, this can
be particularly disheartening.
In fact, 76% of people 65 and older are
anxious to spend time in-person with their
loved ones, according to a COVID-19 impact
study by Comfort Keepers, providers of senior
in-home and respite care. What’s more, 57%
are eagerly awaiting the chance to embrace
a loved one as soon as they can.
“Seniors are struggling with the emotional
impact of isolation now more than ever due
to COVID-19,” says Carl McManus, CEO,
Comfort Keepers North America. “Fortunately,
with a bit of creativity and outside-the-box
thinking, friends and family can still bring
joy to older loved ones to elevate the human
spirit even from afar.”
Send joy in the mail: Many seniors still hold
close the art of the handwritten letter, so try
sitting down and writing out your thoughts
to share with a loved one. An alternative
would be a greeting card with a salutation
and positive thoughts for the future. While
sending mail for special occasions is always
a welcome idea, consider sending letters
periodically just to brighten the day.
Share meaningful memories: Show seniors
you’re thinking about them by sending imagery
of your times together over the past
few years. This could be a photo either via
text, email or mail. You can also have children
paint or draw their favorite memories
with senior loved ones. A picture is worth a
thousand words and by sharing imagery of
meaningful experiences you’re showing that
you cherish time together also. And sharing
photos can help older adults feel connected
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310.227.7611.
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