Page 2 November 19, 2020 EL SEGUNDO HERALD
Your Neighborhood Therapist Police Reports
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Dear Neighborhood Therapist:
The holidays are coming up. We’ve just
been through an election. Half my family
is thrilled, and the other half is devastated.
I actually do have that crazy uncle who I
know is going to want to talk about it over
Thanksgiving dinner and I know myself well
enough to know that I am not going to back
down if he says something offensive. I don’t
mind disagreeing, but I don’t want it to get
ugly. Should I even go? Are there ways of
“turning down the volume” so that we don’t
all end up shouting at each other?
– Outspoken but Speaking Up, El Segundo
Dear Outspoken but Speaking Up,
The Great Thanksgiving Argument is one
of those times when we shake our heads and
drop our jaws at the things our loved ones
say. At the same time, if done properly there’s
a chance it just might serve as a welcome
reminder that it is possible to both love and
strongly disagree with someone. I won’t say
productive engagement is always possible,
but if you proceed with caution it can even
be rewarding. Here are some ideas.
First, can you establish a shared set of facts,
even if you don’t agree on their significance?
“Can we agree that this is what happened?”
If you cannot agree on this point, it’s probably
best to take the first exit ramp and talk
about sports or the weather.
Softball questions are a good start: do we
agree that we want a better world for our
children? Do we agree that clean air is better
than dirty air? Is it crazy that a croissant costs
a buck and a quarter on the Champs Elysees
but five dollars in El Segundo?
If Uncle insists on launching into a monologue
about His Pet Issue, try approaching
the situation like an investigative reporter
or an anthropologist. Ask him, “When you
think about all the problems we are facing,
where does Your Pet Issue rank? What in
your life experience contributes to it having
that ranking for you? If you get everything
you want on Your Pet Issue, how will others
be affected, and is that cool with you?”
And so on.
The best way to “turn it down” is to never
let the temperature rise too much. It’s easier
said than done, of course: try paying close
attention not only to the words being said,
but also what else is happening. Imagine
your discussion is a tennis match with Billie
Jean King doing the commentary: is she
saying you’re engaged in a meeting of two
great champions making great shots? Or
is she noting that one of you is slamming
their racket and yelling at the umpire? Those
great matches can be gratifying: good backand
forth expands our minds and sharpens
our thinking. But when one player throws
a tantrum, sometimes it’s best just to wait
it out. You’ve probably already won the
match anyway.
Tom Andre is a Licensed Marriage &
Family Therapist (LMFT119254). Please text
to 310.776.5299 or write to tom@tomandrecounseling.
com with questions about handling
what is affecting your life, your family, the
community or the world. The information in
this column is for educational purposes only
and nothing herein should be construed as
professional advice or the formation of a
therapeutic relationship. •
Monday, Oct 9th
A found property report was taken at 0838
hours from Main Street and East Pine Avenue.
Found was a bicycle.
One female adult was arrested at 1238 hours
from East Sycamore Avenue and Eucalyptus
Drive for one outstanding LASD felony warrant.
One male adult was arrested at 0156 hours
from Pacific Coast Highway and Park Place
for attempt grand theft, one CHP misdemeanor
warrant and one Santa Monica P.D. misdemeanor
warrant
Tuesday, Oct 10th
A petty theft report was taken at 0809 hours
from the 800 block of Sheldon Street. Unknown
suspect(s) entered the victim’s unlocked vehicle
and stole his property.
A petty theft report was taken at 1250
hours from the 800 block of Penn Street. Unknown
suspect(s) stole the victim’s property
from his unlocked vehicle.
One male adult was arrested at 1038 hours
from the 1500 block of East Walnut Avenue
for one ESPD misdemeanor warrant and one
MBPD misdemeanor warrant
A grand theft report was taken at 1009 hours
from the 800 block of Hornet Way. Unknown
suspect(s) stole the victim’s property from a
construction site.
One female adult was detained at 1414 hours
from the 2200 block of East Rosecrans Avenue
and transported to Harbor General Hospital for
a 72-hour psychiatric evaluation.
A found property report was taken at 1647
hours from Holly Avenue and Main Street. A
wallet was found.
A found property report was taken at 1648
hours from the 2200 block of East Maple
Avenue. A wallet was found.
A found property report was taken at 1648
hours from the 900 block of Main Street. A
credit card was found.
Wednesday, Oct 11th
A possession of a controlled substance for
sales report was taken at 1205 hours from the
800 block of South Douglas Street.
One female adult was arrested at 0130
hours from the 700 block of North Pacific
Coast Highway for identity theft, possession
of a loaded gun in a vehicle, possession
of drug paraphernalia and driving on a suspended
license.
Thursday, Oct 12th
A hit and run (no injuries) report was taken
at 0944 hours from the 300 block of Main
Street, vehicle versus vehicle.
One male adult was arrested at 1246 hours
from the 400 block of Main Street for driving
a stolen vehicle.
One male adult was detained at 1324 hours
from the 400 block of North Pacific Coast
Highway and transported to Exodus Recovery
for evaluation and treatment.
A burglary (commercial) report was taken
at 1404 hours from the 1900 block of Hughes
Way. Unknown suspect(s) broke in to multiple
storage units.
A traffic accident (no injuries) report was
taken at 1401 hours from East El Segundo
Boulevard and Aviation Boulevard, vehicle
versus vehicle.
Friday, Oct 13th
A vandalism report was taken at 0838 hours
from the 800 block of McCarthy Court. Unknown
suspect(s) “egged” the victim’s vehicle.
The El Segundo Herald
wants to sincerely thank
all the advertisers that are sticking
with us, during this difficult time.
XOXO
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