TORRANCE TRIBUNE August 23, 2012 Page 5 One Man’s Opinion Political Penguin By Gerry Chong destroying black families. Romney has cut By Duane Plank But Ryan is the choice. And, as mentioned For several days, the neighborhood talking into Obama’s standing with Jewish voters So Mitt “The Glove” Romney has now made in a prior column, not sure that too many of cat went AWOL and everyone went into a with unequivocal support of Israel. Catholics his earth-shattering choice for his running us will have our vote influenced by the second panic mode. We declared an Amber Alert are offended by Obama’s threat against their mate and the conservative Romney did not banana on the ticket. Predictably, Ryan’s speech and initiated a door-to-door search. Finally, right to practice their religion. Hispanics are choose to think outside of the box and select writers crafted some nice alliteration when the lo and behold, we found him modeling disappointed at the lack of a comprehensive a female running mate. As championed in this youthful Congressman addressed the world uniforms in a military supply store. He had immigration law. Young voters are struck very column weeks ago. after being anointed by the Romney camp. on shiny riding boots, tan jodhpurs, a chest by massive unemployment. All in all, the Nope, he selected the somewhat obscure Ryan said that America is a “nation facing full of medals, and a blue sash diagonally Democratic coalition is teetering and will Congressman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, who is, debt, doubt and despair.” And shockingly, across his chest. He snapped a riding crop likely grow weaker with each subsequent according to a tad bit of research, the Elephant blamed the aforementioned three Ds on the on his boot and commanded a white bull economic report.” Party champion of cutting taxes. Cutting them current campaigning his butt-off POTUS. terrier to sit at heel. A key element in Mitt’s campaign is that for regular Joes. Cutting them for the less “Regrettably, President Obama has become “Who the heck are you,” the neighbors he will not pander to separate segments of fortunate. And all fired up about cutting taxes part of the problem…and Mitt Romney is the chorused, “George Patton?” society by race, gender, age or religion, for the wealthy. solution,” cheered the youngster Ryan. Who “Naw,” said the cat. “I’m Mitt Romney’s emphasizing distinctly separate Americas. Okay, on balance, I am always going to happens to be a couple of decades younger battle planner. I’ve got the whole campaign Instead he views us as a single nation facing initially be in favor of cutting taxes. Who in than the 65-year-old Romney. laid out and it’s working perfectly.” With common problems that require uncommon his right mind wants to fork over more dinero Now of course, the Demos were more that, he unrolled a series of papers on a solutions. to Uncle Sam? Criminy, we are taxed up the than ready to shoot their slings and arrows at table while the neighbors gawked over his Fascinated, a neighbor asked, “How do wazoo. Fed tax, state tax, income tax, petrol whomever the Republicans selected to be the shoulders. you see the campaign moving forward”? tax. Tax on tax on tax. And all to achieve what? man or woman in the shadows as the 2012 “Now you noticed that coming out of the “Well,” said the cat, “our selection of Paul More pork-belly handouts, more seemingly campaign heats up. The poli pundits pontificate Primaries, we were pretty beat up and didn’t Ryan is a game-changer. Contrast Ryan’s well-intentioned government programs that don’t to us that not a lot of folks pay attention to have much money. So rather than jumping out specific tough love requirement to cure our seem to cut the mustard, that tend to hand out the November election until the semi-official with a whole lot of aggressive and Obama- economic ills with Treasury Secretary Tim the payola to the administrative muckey-mucks, end of summer descends upon us the day provoking positions, we cooled it and left Geithner’s confession that ‘we’re not here who, to give them the dubious benefit of the after Labor Day. A day that may find me in him with little to specifically attack. As my to tell you we have any answers. We just doubt, may try to do the right thing, but it seems Sin City, by the way, if I can work out some old friend Muhammad Ali said, ‘Let’s do don’t like yours.’ We recognize that Ryan is that a lot of our money is wasted, doesn’t it? all-important logistics on a couple of ends. a rope-a-dope thing and let him swing at a lightning rod for Democratic attacks, but So, have to admit that I did not know a whole But, as I occasionally do, I digress. So the things that don’t hurt, but sap his assets.’ he’ll give as good as he gets and addresses lot about Congressman Ryan before Romney’s Demos painted Ryan as a selection that will Like Ali, we encouraged him to waste serious problems with serious proposals. As pollsters and handlers anointed the 42-year-old wreck all the freeloads that the Demos have his money while we raised and conserved Mitt says, Ryan will force Obama to ‘get his as a possible President of the United States. so patiently and painstakingly crafted over the ours. In the last three months, Obama has campaign out of the gutter’ of distracting Sure, that can happen, if somehow “The Glove” last few years, hitched to taking more money outspent us three-to-one and is having trouble political ads that most people understand outpoints the POTUS, the hard-fundraising out of our pockets via taxes? raising more, but we have outraised him by are intended to move discussions away from Barack Obama in the general election which Initially, the POTUS demurred from making substantial margins, conserving our cash for the economic disaster we face. will be taking place in about 10 weeks. any comments about the Ryan selection. The the final three months. We have now raised “We’re building momentum, ramping up, Congressman Ryan could be the President Prez was too busy wandering around his old as much as Obama, but have way more taking the offensive, separating ourselves from of the United States sometime in the next stomping grounds in the Chicago area, trying cash on hand because we plan on peaking Obama on issues such as Israel’s defense. eight years. Or in the next 12, if “The Glove” to raise more payola for his reelection bid. in November--not August. People will see the difference between our were to somehow knock off the incumbent Now, I am sure that every President has spent “What has this spending bought Obama? principled stance against Muslim aggression and Prez. serve out his statutory two terms and his fourth year in office fundraising, saying Among registered voters he is even with the muddled Obama approach to appeasement. then turn over the reins to the youthful Ryan. basically to heck with running the country, my man, but among likely voters, Mitt’s “Gradually we will increase the pressure Chances of that happening, according to some trying to solve the nation’s ills, but didn’t leading. Now black ministers are calling him on Obama, forcing him to defend his record, very unscientific odds gleaned from unsavory you, didn’t we, expect a little more from the a traitor and are organizing against him for See One Man’s, page 11 sources: ‘bout two percent. See Political, page 11 “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV
Torrance 8.23.12
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