The Weekly Newspaper of Inglewood Herald Publications - El Segundo, Hawthorne, Lawndale & Inglewood Community Newspapers Since 1911 - (310) 322-1830 - Vol. 70, No. 6 - February 11, 2021 Zoran Retires to a Comfortable Life After Many Years of K9 Service in Inglewood K9 Zoran has officially retired from service. His handler, Officer and now K9 Sergeant Chocano will ensure that the rest of Zoran’s days are left to stay at home, watch football (or chase it) and relax in good health. Thank you K9 Zoran for your years of service, companionship, disappearing food items, and laughs. The residents of Inglewood thank you for your assistance in patrol and explosive detection. Photo courtesy Inglewood Police Department. “I enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s a nice way to say you’re thinking about your family, someone special, or dear friends.” – Camila Alves Brian Mattson from front page They are, in order of prominence: sex, money, housekeeping, and childrearing and extended family interchangeably. Far more important than the occurrence of these conflicts, or the frequency of their occurrences, he says, is the couple’s ability to repair afterward. This means truly understanding the position of the other person and creating a plan to avoid it in the future. Relationships, according to Mattson, go through a linear pattern of “ideal, ordeal, and real deal.” The ideal is the phase of a couple loving each other intensely for the version of them that’s created in their minds. The ordeal is the phase where they start to realize who they really are. The real deal comes after, when they can decide if they truly love this person for themselves, and if they are better for it. As for what you can do to create a healthier relationship this Valentine’s Day, Mattson recommends a few things. First, for couples that are already in the real deal, do an activity with your partner that does not involve talking. Go for a walk hand in hand, or gaze into each other’s eyes, wordless. Embrace the discomfort that comes with it, and learn from it. Take inventory of your partner, and take the time to check in. Second, for newer couples, write a relationship contract. Mattson suggests that happiness is measured against expectations. Physically write up a contract stating what you want out of the relationship and what you’re willing to offer, especially regarding the Big Five. Clearly define your boundaries and expectations. How do you feel about friends of the same and opposite sex? Do you need to meet them? Does your partner need to tell you when they’ll be home, or can they just show up? Who will pay the bills, and will you join bank accounts? Finally, for all couples, plan for important conversations. Prepare to be in the right headspace, in a comfortable place. Talk about your one, five, and ten-year goals and visions. Most of all, and most importantly, listen. • Brian Mattson and his son Kaden enjoy surfing the waters off El Segundo Beach.
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